Three Little Words
(Cerita ni hanya rekaan semata mata berdasarkan kisah seseorang. Enjoy! K bye.)
They say a lot can happen in a summer.
It’s the first day of senior year, and as far as I can tell, I’m exactly the same as I was last year. And so is my best friend, Susan.
‘Don’t forget, Elise, we have to get boyfriends this year,’ she says, starting the engine of my car.
‘Crap.’ We were supposed to get boyfriends last year and we didn’t. I opened the door and scoot in, sliding the letter into my biology book. ‘Can’t we give this whole boyfriend thing a rest? We already know all the boys in our school. And-‘
‘Actually we don’t.’ Susan said as she slide the gear stick into reverse. Of all my friends, Susan is the best driver. Hence, I always ask her to drive my car whenever we want to go out.
‘I hear there’s a new student,’ she said.
‘So?’ The last new student who came to our school turned out to be a stoner who never changed his overalls.
‘Bruno says she’s cute. Really cute.’
‘Uh-uh.’ Bruno was the captain of basketball in high school. ‘If she actually is cute, Zach Collins or Ryan Bradshaw will get her.’
‘She has a weird name,’ Susan says. ‘Cassie something. Cassie McLittle?’
‘Cassie McKydd?’ I gasp.
‘That’s it,’ she says, pulling into the parking lot of the high school. She looks at me suspiciously. ‘Do you know her?’
We were through the main door of the high school when Susan spots my boots. ‘Elise.’ She says, eyeing the boots. ‘As your best friend or Head of Prefect, I cannot allow you to wear those boots of senior year.’
The first time I saw him, I thought he was someone really special in my life. It was my first day and everyone kept looking at me as I entered the high school.
‘Hi, my name is Cassie. Cassie McKydd. I’m from somewhere in Scotland,’ I introduced myself in front of my new classmates.
Suddenly I felt like there was someone poking me from back and said, ‘You can sit in front of Ryan.’
‘Hi, I’m Ryan and the person beside me is Harry. He is my best friend and the genius one in our class. Nice to meet you.’
I smiled. ‘Ryan. There is a nice ring to that name. You can call me Cassie and nice to meet you too,’ I replied as we were looking at each other.
It took a little time before I became more comfortable in this high school and my classmates seemed to get along with me well.
At first, Ryan was just another boy who was in my class and to me, he did not mean much, nothing more than just a classmate but I was wrong as he became the most special person to me in later life.
‘Who knows the difference between integral calculus and differential calculus?’
Harry raises his hand. ‘Doesn’t it have something to do with how you use the differentials?’
‘That’s getting there,’ Mr. Haff, the teacher, says, ‘Anyone else have a theory?’
Cassie raises her hand. ‘In differentials calculus you take a small point and calculate the rate of change from one variable to another. In integral calculus you take a small differential and you integrate it from lower limit to another limit. So you sum up all those small points into one large amount.’
Jeez. I think. How the hell does Cassie know that?
She’s the new one. How did she learn in Scotland?
I’m never going to be able to get through this course. It will be the first time AddMath has failed. Ever since I was a kid, math was one of my easiest subjects. I’d do the homework and the tests, and hardly have to study. But, I’ll have to study now, if I plan to survive.
I’m sitting there wondering how I can get out of this course, when there’s a knock on the door. Ryan walks in, wearing an ancient navy blue polo shirts. His eyes are hazel with long lashes, and his hair is bleached dark blond from seawater and sun.
‘Ah, Mr. Ryan Bradshaw. I was wondering when you were planning to show up,’ Mr. Haff says.
Ryan looks at him straight in the eye, unfazed. ‘I had a few things about rugby that I needed to take care of first.’
I sneak a glance at him from behind my hand. Here is someone who truly does come from another planet-a planet where all humans are perfectly formed and have amazing hair.
‘Please. Sit down.’
‘Mr. Bradshaw?’ he asks. ‘Can you tell me what this equation represents?’
I turn around and stare. Ryan leans back in his chair and taps his pilot pen on his calculus book. His smile is tense, as if he doesn’t know the answer, or does know it and can’t believe anyone would be so stupid to ask.
He catches my eyes and winks.
‘Mr. Haff, may I go out?’
The door opens and Sara come in. Sara is one of the photographer in Castlebury High School. She has straight dark hair and her small voice make other felt annoying to be with her.
‘Guess who’s back at Castlebury High?’ Sara asked.
‘Our classmate? The guy that sit behind me? So?’ I look in the mirror and rub my eye, pretending I have something in it.
‘I want to date him,’ Sara says, with complete and high confidence. ‘From what I’ve heard, he’d be a perfect boyfriend for me.’
‘Why would you want to date someone you don’t know well?’
‘I just do, that’s all. I don’t need a reason.’
‘Well. It’s up to you. I’m new here. I also don’t know him well.’
As I sat back at my place, ‘What was that business with Ryan Bradshaw?’ Elise asked.
‘What business?’ I highlight an equation in yellow, thinking about how useless it is to highlight. Students in Castlebury High used to highlight all the main words or equation and that makes you think you’re learning, but all you’re really learning is how to use a hightlighter.
‘He winked at you.’
‘Cassie,’ Elise and Susan say. ‘Don’t even try to tell me you didn’t notice.’
‘How do I know he was winking at me? Perhaps he was winking at the wall or maybe Sara.’
We’re in the library, attempting to study. I remembered, one day it was German-language class. We had been divided into several groups. Although Ryan and I were in different group, I could hear he mentioned my name in the given task.
I felt something different. Something strange and weird as I looked at him. I kept asking myself why was my heart beating faster. Deep inside, I was happy as Ryan was one of the boy who approached me.
He stared at me whenever I looked aside. This time, he walked straight to me and stuck his hand out.
‘Do you want to play chess with me this evening?’
‘Wait a minute.’
‘What?’ Elise asked while Susan smiled. ‘You should spend time with him to play chess. That’s what every girl in the school wants. Including Sara.’
At first, I just ignored him and went on with life but he kept trying to approach me. As time flies, I got used to it and later we became closer. Good-friends. We did everything together from teaching each other, going back to school together and laughing together.
With him, I felt happy. Like there is nothing will happen to me. It was just too perfect. Perfect.
Ryan Bradshaw. Despite of being a rugger school’s team, he’s the captain of the team. Hence, he is popular among the juniors with his different personality. He shared the stories about the rugby with me even was I don’t understand at all.
Since he was my classmate, he always there for me. I knew that I was falling in love with him. It turned out as he felt the same way towards me when he kissed me on the cheek as I was trying to get the chocolate in his hands. Everything was just too perfect until he got into an accident.
Amanda dropped me off at school just at the right time, ‘Take a good care of yourself, sweetheart,’ she said sweetly.
I looked at my 38 years old sister. She’s the most beautiful woman you could ever see. Her big brown eyes matched mine, that’s why most people said we look alike.
‘I’m 17 now, sis. I’ll take care of myself. And you too, okay?’
I kissed her cheek and got out from the car. I waved her goodbye and went straight to my first class.
There she was. Sitting at her usual place but this time around, she looked quite different. I took a seat in front of her and asked why.
‘Ryan got into an accident and he…’ her voice trailed off. Cassie was kinda new in this school and she had this special relationship with Ryan. As soon as she said that, she broke into tears. I went up to her and gave her a hug, hoping it would calm her down.
‘Where were you for the last two days?’ Harry said while taking out books from his locker. I closed my locker and looked at him.
‘We went to grandma’s house because she was sick,’ I simply said. His grey eyes looked into mine and I could see sympathy in it.
‘I hope she’s fine.’
‘Thanks.’ I nodded my head. The bell rang and it was French-language class.
Cassie wasn’t being herself for the whole day. She was quiet and it seemed like she was in misery.
‘Everything will be fine. He’ll wake up soon.’ That was the only thing that came out from my mouth.
‘But the doctor said, the chances for him to wake up from coma is too small.’
I wished I could help but I knew I could do nothing. I put my hand around her shoulder and gave her a pat.
‘How was your day, honey?’ Amanda asked as soon as I got into the car.
‘Good but something bad happened to Ryan. You remembered him, right?’ I looked at her and she straight away nodded her head.
‘Well, he got into accident and now he’s in coma. Cassie was very sad about it. She refused to eat and she didn’t even talk!’
I woke up early as I got a call from Cassie.
‘Ryan woke up this morning!’
‘We’re visiting him after school. Are you coming?’ Cassie sounded excitedly.
‘Sure, that would be cool.’
‘Great! See you at school.’ With that she hung up the phone.
Right after school ended, Susan drove us to the hospital.
‘I’m so excited!’
‘We know you are.’ We said before we walked into Ryan’s room.
Everything changed when Ryan said those three words, ‘WHO ARE YOU?’
Maybe I was wrong. It was not going to be the way it was. Ryan lost his memory.
‘I’m your girlfriend,’ Cassie said, trying not to cry.
‘No, you’re not. Sara is.’
For a 17 years old girl, that was just too much for Cassie to take in.
I felt like there was a big stone on my shoulder as I saw Sara entered the room.
‘Sara?!’ I shouted at her.
‘What had you told him?’
I saw she glanced at Ryan and replied, ‘I’m just telling the truth. What makes you come here, Cassie McKydd? Thought you had already forgot about Ryan.’
Elise and Susan stood there with their jaw dropped open.
Suddenly, I felt someone touched my shoulder from behind. My eyes filled. ‘You can’t cry in front of her, Cassie. Let’s go back home. I know it’s hurt for you. Perhaps time is a kind of cure,’ Susan whispered.
‘Get out from this room, Cassie! I don’t want to look at your face. Don’t you remember what had you done to Ryan?’ Sara grabbed Cassie’s hand harshly and forced her to get out from the room.
‘Sara, what happened? Did I know them? I can’t remember at all. Ouch! My head!’
I saw Cassie started to cry and quickly walked out from the room.
‘How could you forget about the person you loved, Ryan.’ I lowered my voice.
I tried to press emergency button but Sara did well than me.
Since that day, Cassie was no longer the cheerful students. She became silent and distant. Although its hurt, she went through it all the while putting up a brave face.
As soon as Cassie stepped into the class, everyone looked at her. Susan and I could hear that everyone kept talking about the incident two days ago at the hospital.
I held Cassie’s hand and told her to ignore everyone that was looking at her. At the same time, I was wondering who the hell told them about this. I saw Sara. Yes. I was pretty sure it was her. Everything about her is just annoying. From her small voice to her face. She walked towards us and smiled. A fake one.
‘What do you want, bitch?’
She rolled her eyes and laughed. Her annoying laugh made me want to pull her head off but Cassie stopped me from doing that.
‘I could rip her head off for you if you want! Why did you stopped me?!’ I shouted at Cassie who was washing her face. Her face seemed feelingless as she looked at me.
‘She ruined your life and you’re not going to do anything?’
‘There’s nothing I could do. He believed her. The end.’
‘But..’ before I could finish my sentence, she walked out from the toilet. I followed her behind and saw her talking to Sara. What the hell were they talking about?!
‘I won’t playing hard to get Ryan. He is mine. We are used to be together. This is about us and the issues that we’re dealing it. The gate is closed. I won’t be tolerate for this time.’ I heard every single words that came out from Cassie’s mouth.
‘Gosh! Really?’ Sara’s mouth gapped exactly like an ‘O’ shape. The fake one.
’10, 9, 8, 7.., 2, 1.’ We were counting before the needle on his watch turned to 12 o’clock. It was our perfect night to celebrate his birthday. We were in a tree house behind my house. The night was lighten up by a full moon and lighted candles on his cake. As I was singing for him, he hugged me from back. I slowly turned back and he kissed me. That was the last night we’re celebrated together when we’re in 16 years old. There’s only memories to hold on to.
Oh, gosh! I look exactly like a dumb. Everything on me was wet. Elise’s car broke down this morning. Mine too. As a conclusion, I had to walk to school and it was raining heavily. Even an umbrella could not act as a shield to the rain.
‘Look! Cassie is wet! She looks like a FISH. Maybe a S-T-U-P-I-D FISH.’ I heard some of my classmate including Bruno, the cute guy with his curly brown hair laughed at me.
S-A-R-A. The girl whom I would hate forever. Her words were as sharp as that kind of knife. I quickly took my seat beside Elise.
Kriiinggg.. Kriiingg.. The bell rang. I was standing at the door while waiting for Elise and Susan to go to the library.
Sara walked towards me and said, ‘Ryan is fine. He needs some rest and also ONE person to take care of him. It’s me! Don’t worry about him. Do you get it?’
I’m just hearing but never give a response to what did she said. Sometimes I felt like Sara had turned into a little devil.
‘Are you sleeping, Carrie McKydd?’
‘No, I’m not sleeping. I heard each words that came out from your mouth but sorry, I’m not interested to know about Ryan from you.’
We have another two months in this school. Sometimes I feel sad to leave this school, but whenever Sara came into my mind, it’s better for me to leave this school now.
Next month would be our prom night. Everybody in this school was busy. The guys were searching for their Ms Perfect and the girls were waiting with butterflies in their stomach.
Cassie really hopes Ryan would wake up from his bed and ask her to the ball.
I have been keeping this secret alone. Zach bought two tickets for the prom. I saw him put one of them in a red envelope and wrote ‘To: Sara Archie’ and he left on Sara’s table.
I could not believe that a guy such Zach Collins from next class who is a school runner could asked Sara to go to the ball. There’s a LOT of question in my mind. Why Zach likes Sara than Cassie? For me, Sara is just a photographer in Castlebury High while Cassie is one of the best student in this high school.
‘It is over! He’s not here anymore anyway. I don’t want to go back to his place. Let’s play pretend and act like it goes naturally,’ Cassie mumbled. She was lying on my bed. I hugged her tightly, ‘Girl, put your dress on, you are late.’
Cassie smiled. For her, faking a smile isn’t hard as she had a beautiful smile.
‘The ball was not important to me because I’m not going anywhere.’
‘No, Cassie. We won’t go to the prom. I want to bring you to meet your Prince Charming tonight.’ I winked my eyes and quickly looking for a dress.
Cassie pulled into her driveway and stopped, confused.
‘Wait, where are we going, Elise?’
‘We will meet Ryan. Yes, Ryan Bradshaw.’
‘How about Sara?’
I was just smiling and told her about the red envelope. For first, Cassie did not believe me because Zach is the biggest player of this high school.
For a few minutes, I can see Cassie felt delighted.
Elise dropped me and I quickly ran to Ryan’s room.
The room was too dark and I can’t see anything at all. The door opened crackly. I walked into the room.
I was looking for the voice. ‘Sara, is that you? Could you please switch on the light?’
‘It’s me, Cassie. Cassie McKydd. Do you remember?’
‘Cassie? Is it you who came visited me two months ago? Cassie McKydd from Castlebury High?
‘Yes, it’s me.’ I looked Ryan for a long time until he realize. Then, I saw him touched his face.
‘Is there something wrong on my face?’
‘No. You’re different, Ryan. You look..’ I can’t take my eyes off from you. Why, Ryan?
‘Yes, Cassie? I look..?’
‘You look matured than before.’
He laughed. I was like there was an alien possessed into my body. I can’t believe that he is laughing in front of me. I melted whenever I see his dimple.
‘Oh.. I never know you. How could you say that?’ He smiled.
‘No! You know me, Ryan. We’re used to be together before this. Hey, look at me. Do you remember when your hand was injured because of the rugby, I was too worried about you. I called Elise and Susan to take you to the hospital. Do you remember when I was scolded by ‘Three Voice’, you are the only one that give me all the strength. Do you remember that I sit in front of you? You always give me chocolates whenever I was sad. You said Someday chocolates will make me feel better, no matter how bad my state is. We shared Snickers together. Do you remember?’
Finally, my eyes broke into tears. The room was silent.
‘Carrie, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you. Sara never told me about you. She’s only said that you’re my classmate last year.’
‘Ryan, you know no matter where I am, no matter what’s happening in your life, no matter if you’re sad or happy or lonely or lost, remember that I’m in here (heart) –and I always proud of you of everything you do. And sometimes if you’re asking who I am or how I ever felt about you, remember right now, remember me saying that I Love You. I Love You, Ryan. ‘
I looked at him before I walked out from the room. Before I let him be together with Sara.
‘Remember that I’m somewhere always hoping that you’ll be the best that you can be.’
I smiled. ‘Goodbye, Ryan Bradshaw.’
‘Cassie. Cassie McKydd!’
I felt there was someone calling me from back. Maybe it was Ryan.
Everyone talked about the prom next morning. Not even about Sara and Zach. Rumours said they are together officially. I was wondering about Sara. How could she left Ryan just because of Zach? She can’t. And if she does, she’s stupid. She wasn’t good enough for Ryan. And now everyone is going to know how stupid she was. Do you have any idea how utterly dumb she should feel right now? I mean, could she be any dumber?
‘You can’t let them win, Cassie. You have to act like you don’t care,’ Susan says.
‘But I do care.’
‘I know. But sometimes, you have to act the opposite of what people expect. They want you to go crazy. They want you hate them. The more you hate them, the stronger they become.’
‘I just want to know why.’
‘The coward,’ Susan says, putting his tray down next to me. ‘She don’t have the guts to show up at school now after prom.’
I stared down at my plate. The fried chicken that I bought suddenly resembles a large insect. I pushed it aside.
‘She’s a little bitch.’
I watch Sara a LOT when she’s not looking. I don’t want to, but I can’t help it.
Now, it had been three years. Everything changed. Elise and Susan continue studies in Scotland, near my house while I continue my studies at Ireland with my favourite course, medic.
Eventhough my life seemed empty, I knew I had to continue on living. To continue surviving and studying. To continue the struggle. Because I made a promise. A promise to my father. Three years have passed since the day I was graduated with all my friends, but I could still remember I’d promise to Elise and Susan that I need to be strong and work hard to fulfill my dreams.
I put 3 glasses on the table and looked at the arrangement I made on the table. Elise and Susan promised to come here for a dinner. They've planned this for quite a long time and they finally had the chance to come to Ireland.
I took off my apron and walked into my room. Seeing all of my outfits on the bed, I simply put it on and looked into the mirror. I've got to say that I was proud of myself. I survived living in Ireland for 3 years and graduated from my course which was medic. People was right when they said that by keeping yourself busy, you could forget about your problems.
I combed my hair and put on a black scarf on my head and walked to the door as soon as I heard the doorbell rang. I opened the door and saw Elise and Susan standing on the doorstep with smiles across their faces.
‘Come in!’ I opened the door wider and let them walked in.
‘It's a nice apartment you got here!’ Susan complimented my apartment while her eyes were looking around. Elise walked to the dining table and her jaw dropped open.
‘You cooked this for us?’ She looked at me, amazed.
‘Not funny Elise. I can cook, ok.’ I laughed a little.
‘Right. Let's hope she doesn't put anything in our food and drinks.’ Susan joked.
‘There my friends. Let's just eat. Im starving.’ I said while taking a seat on the wooden chair.
We were laughing, we were chatting throughout the dinner. It felt good to see them after 3 years being away from them. ‘You're sleeping here, right?’ I asked. Elise looked at Susan and they made some eye contact conversation then both of them looked at me
‘If you have extra space, we would love to!’ Susan said. I smiled and nodded my head.
‘There's a plenty of room for both of you in here!’ I took the plates and put it in the sinks.
It was 11.45 pm and everyone was asleep. I kept on changing the channels on the tv yet there's nothing interesting for me to watch. I turned off the tv, grabbed my coat and opened the door slowly, trying not to make any sounds. Perhaps I should take a walk.
The cold wind blew my hair and I looked up at the skies. Winter is coming soon and I would be freezing my ass off. I walked down the quiet streets and decided to chill out at the park. The swings were empty. Well, it didn't hurt to actually sit here for a short time. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. So many things happened during these past few years but here I am, still standing strong. Not gonna lie that there was I time I wish I could just vanish from this world but this is life. It's not life if you never go through pain and sadness.
As I was closing my eyes, I heard someone calling my name. Was it my illusion or was it real?
‘Cassie, is that you?’ It was a really familiar voice for me. I opened my eyes and looked around the dark park. My heart stopped beating for a split second when I saw him. Words couldn't describe how I was feeling.
‘R-R-Ryan? W-W-What are you doing here?’ I stuttered.
Oh my God.
All of sudden, he gave me a hug. A warm hug that I've been longing for.
‘I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.’ He said as he kissed my head.
I pulled away from the hug and looked at him.
‘Answer my question.’ I said firmly.
He looked at me and it took him a few seconds before he opened his mouth and explained everything.
‘I gained back my memories 2 years ago and since then I've been searching for you. No one knows where you were. I tried to call you but it said that you're no longer using that number. I've tried everything to try and keep in touch with you but nothing. I got nothing. I thought you left me. Sara. She's a liar. She's now with Zach. I thanked Elise for telling me you're here. If not. I don't know if I could ever survive living without you.’ He said and looked down at his black shoes. His words brought me to tears.
‘I love you, Cassie.’ His 3 little words changed everything that night.
P.S. I thanked my best friend for her ideas. Ms Eriza, Thank You! Finally, this is the end of the story :-)